To Nap Or Not To Nap

If I ever write that memoir that I threaten to title, Driven To Drink, I'm going to include a chapter on naps...or the lack thereof. Every mom has been there: A busy morning spills into a busy afternoon and nap time gets pushed dangerously late. One of the two scenarios then plays out:


1. The kids get a nap and Mom gets a desperately needed break. She then needs to decide if she wants to awaken the sleeping children early so they hopefully go to bed on time for the night, or let them sleep as long as they wish.


If she wakes them early, there will be much crying and clinging that can carry on for almost the length of the taken nap. I'd advise a mom in this situation to go ahead and open a bottle of wine so she can calmly deal with all the whine.

She can also choose to let them sleep until dusk, feed them a late supper laced with barbiturates and hope for the best. In this case, I'd prescribe a pot of coffee, because she could be in for a long night.

2. Mom takes the delayed gratification option of skipping naps completely and holds out for an early bedtime.


This was the option I chose today when 3:00 rolled around and the kids were still up. "Only 4.5 hours till I can kiss their darling heads good night. I can endure those few short hours for the reward of a quiet evening to myself," I reasoned.

And so, much weeping and howling and bickering and physical assault ensued among my little darlings.

James hit Timothy full swing with a Playskool bus and knocked him flat out. He has an egg-shaped bruise square between the eyes to prove it.

Emily slapped, kicked and punched her oldest brother and her cousin because they smirked at her angry face that was induced by a movie selection she disapproved of. She then went into full melt down mode that left her eyes nearly swollen shut.


James deceptively stole the rocking horse from Timothy who then bulldozed James right off of it and into the recliner.

Timothy had the better spot on my lap, so James elbowed and pinched him off. Timothy then spanked James who then tried to rip out Timothy's hair. (I was doing the best I could to stop this all the while holding and trying to protect my infant niece from the pandemonium.)

This all happened by 3:30 and I was beginning to question my decision, "Not To Nap". I was feeling fatigued and fatigue makes me want to fuel...with chocolate. I keep a box of Special K Chocolate Delight on hand for these desperate situations, but was all out. I substituted with a bowl of Life cereal with a Hershey bar broken into it, which has only led to hours of regret and self-loathing.

Then the dreaded side effect of "Option 2: Not To Nap" kicked in and James fell asleep on the sofa while watching his eldest brother bravely kill fierce, wild creatures on the Wii. It was only a minute he was asleep, but the damage was done and the child cried all through the preparation of supper. He cried until bribed with a smoothie. Bedtime was now in peril. Even that short minute of sleep could keep James from falling asleep at bedtime.

Suppertime became a commotion of slap-happy boys trying to make the silliest face and the crudest noise. At least the shrieks and howls were ones of tired, yet happy, hysterics.

The kids are all in bed now. I lucked out and even James conked out right away. I had great plans to watch a movie or meet up with a friend, but the desire to do so is long gone. The Delayed Gratification: Not To Nap option has left me utterly exhausted.

Tomorrow, I'm going to need a nap.