Blue Toilet Water

I had two sets of coupons that somehow allowed me to get four boxes of Vanish Drop-Ins at Target for free. These are the tablets that are supposed to be placed in the toilet tank to keep things all clean and nice. I've never before possessed a Drop In or used a Drop In, but decided to give them a try after reading on the back of the box that it wouldn't harm my cat, who likes to drink out of the toilet, or my children, all of whom have thankfully quit drinking from the toilet.

A couple days ago after cleaning our bathrooms, I put one in each of the two toilets that are notorious for being left in undesirable states: the basement bathroom, aka: Christian's bathroom, and the kids' bathroom upstairs. Being simultaneously optimistic and skeptical, I was hopeful that this would solve all my toilet-cleaning problems. Time would tell.

It immediately made the water an electrifying, bright blue color and reeked of toxic bathroom cleaner.

"Perfect," I thought, "I feel like one of those middle-aged housewives from the 1980's."

I wondered if previous usage of this product was the reason why some of the old women in church have blue hair.


Emily used the upstairs bathroom first. "MOM! The toilet water is blue!"

"That's because you don't flush the toilet after you use it!" I said.

What I meant was that I chose to put a Drop In in that toilet because she doesn't always flush it. What she heard was, "Because you never flush the toilet, the water has turned that obnoxious shade of blue."

"What do I do?!" Emily asked, somewhat alarmed.

"Flush it." I advised.

"If I always remember to flush it, will the water turn back to its normal color?"

Then, realizing what she was thinking, I paused to consider my options. I should have clarified why the water was blue, but it was much more fun to just assure her, "Yes. It will return to its normal color over time if you flush it after every use."


Although I didn't see it, I imagine Christian went into his bathroom, lifted the lid, caught sight of the blue water and froze for a moment before grabbing his phone and texting me.

"can i pee in the blue toilet?"

"of course. and u can flush it too."

"k just checkin kinda scared me"

I don't know much about effectiveness of the cleaning agents in Vanish Drop Ins, but I wonder if the secret cleaning power is actually in the color. I think both my kids have experienced the Blue Shock Effect that will motivate them to actually flush the toilet every time they use it. Imagine that!

To Nap Or Not To Nap

If I ever write that memoir that I threaten to title, Driven To Drink, I'm going to include a chapter on naps...or the lack thereof. Every mom has been there: A busy morning spills into a busy afternoon and nap time gets pushed dangerously late. One of the two scenarios then plays out:


1. The kids get a nap and Mom gets a desperately needed break. She then needs to decide if she wants to awaken the sleeping children early so they hopefully go to bed on time for the night, or let them sleep as long as they wish.


If she wakes them early, there will be much crying and clinging that can carry on for almost the length of the taken nap. I'd advise a mom in this situation to go ahead and open a bottle of wine so she can calmly deal with all the whine.

She can also choose to let them sleep until dusk, feed them a late supper laced with barbiturates and hope for the best. In this case, I'd prescribe a pot of coffee, because she could be in for a long night.

2. Mom takes the delayed gratification option of skipping naps completely and holds out for an early bedtime.


This was the option I chose today when 3:00 rolled around and the kids were still up. "Only 4.5 hours till I can kiss their darling heads good night. I can endure those few short hours for the reward of a quiet evening to myself," I reasoned.

And so, much weeping and howling and bickering and physical assault ensued among my little darlings.

James hit Timothy full swing with a Playskool bus and knocked him flat out. He has an egg-shaped bruise square between the eyes to prove it.

Emily slapped, kicked and punched her oldest brother and her cousin because they smirked at her angry face that was induced by a movie selection she disapproved of. She then went into full melt down mode that left her eyes nearly swollen shut.


James deceptively stole the rocking horse from Timothy who then bulldozed James right off of it and into the recliner.

Timothy had the better spot on my lap, so James elbowed and pinched him off. Timothy then spanked James who then tried to rip out Timothy's hair. (I was doing the best I could to stop this all the while holding and trying to protect my infant niece from the pandemonium.)

This all happened by 3:30 and I was beginning to question my decision, "Not To Nap". I was feeling fatigued and fatigue makes me want to fuel...with chocolate. I keep a box of Special K Chocolate Delight on hand for these desperate situations, but was all out. I substituted with a bowl of Life cereal with a Hershey bar broken into it, which has only led to hours of regret and self-loathing.

Then the dreaded side effect of "Option 2: Not To Nap" kicked in and James fell asleep on the sofa while watching his eldest brother bravely kill fierce, wild creatures on the Wii. It was only a minute he was asleep, but the damage was done and the child cried all through the preparation of supper. He cried until bribed with a smoothie. Bedtime was now in peril. Even that short minute of sleep could keep James from falling asleep at bedtime.

Suppertime became a commotion of slap-happy boys trying to make the silliest face and the crudest noise. At least the shrieks and howls were ones of tired, yet happy, hysterics.

The kids are all in bed now. I lucked out and even James conked out right away. I had great plans to watch a movie or meet up with a friend, but the desire to do so is long gone. The Delayed Gratification: Not To Nap option has left me utterly exhausted.

Tomorrow, I'm going to need a nap.